求一篇英语脱口秀段子 短的 带翻译 跪求 给分

　　you are my sunshine
　　你是我的阳光
　　the other night dear,as i lay sleeping,
　　亲爱的,一天晚上我正在躺着睡觉
　　i dreamt i held you in my arms,
　　我梦见你在我的臂弯
　　when i awoke dear,i was mistaken,
　　当我醒来的时候,我亲爱的.我发现我是错误的
　　and i hung my head and i cried!
　　我垂下我的头,然后,我哭了
　　you are my sunshine,my only sunshine,
　　你是我的阳光,我唯一的阳光
　　you make me happy,when skies are gray.
　　你让我感到开心,当天空黑暗的时候
　　you'll never know dear,how much i love you,
　　你永远不会知道,我有多爱你
　　please don't take my sunshine away.
　　请不要把我的阳光带走
　　you told me once dear,you really loved me,
　　你有一次告诉我,你真的爱我
　　and no one else could come between,
　　没有人可以替代
　　but now you've left me,and love another.
　　但是现在,你离开了我,爱上了别人
　　you have shattered all my dreams.
　　你粉碎了我所有的梦
　　you are my sunshine,my only sunshine,
　　你是我的阳光,我唯一的阳光
　　the other night dear,as i lay sleeping,
　　亲爱的,一天晚上我正在躺着睡觉
　　i dreamt i held you in my arms,
　　我梦见你在我的臂弯
　　you make me happy,when skies are gray.
　　你让我感到开心,当天空黑暗的时候
　　when i awoke dear,i was mistaken,
　　当我醒来的时候,我亲爱的.我发现我是错误的
　　you'll never know dear,how much i love you,
　　你永远不会知道,我有多爱你
　　and i hung my head and i cried!
　　我垂下我的头,然后,我哭了
　　please don't take my sunshine away.
　　请不要把我的阳光带走
　　you are my sunshine,my only sunshine,
　　你是我的阳光,我唯一的阳光
　　you make me happy,when skies are gray.
　　你让我感到开心,当天空黑暗的时候
　　you'll never know dear,how much i love you,
　　你永远不会知道,我有多爱你
　　please don't take my sunshine away.
　　请不要把我的阳光带走
　　you told me once dear,you really loved me,
　　你有一次告诉我,你真的爱我
　　and no one else could come between,
　　没有人可以替代
　　but now you've left me,and love another.
　　但是现在,你离开了我,爱上了别人
　　you have shattered all my dreams.
　　你粉碎了我所有的梦
　　you are my sunshine,my only sunshine,
　　你是我的阳光,我唯一的阳光
　　you make me happy,when skies are gray.
　　你让我感到开心,当天空黑暗的时候
　　you'll never know dear,how much i love you,
　　你永远不会知道,我有多爱你
　　please don't take my sunshine away.
　　请不要把我的阳光带走

I am not good at sports, but I love parallel
parking...because unlike sports...whenever parallel parking, the worse you
are...the more people they have rooting for you.
我不擅长运动，但是我喜欢平行停车……因为和运动不一样，不管什么时候你做平行停车，都是你停的越烂，越多人给你叫好。
解释：parallel
parking是美国考驾照路考的一个部分，意思是平行停车，就是让你把车停到平行的车的后面。