急求英语小笑话 附有中文翻译的

The mean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

I think that I'm a chicken Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

精神病医师：你哪里不舒服？ 病人：我认为我是一只鸡。 精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的？ 病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

Mrs Brown was going our for the day.She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door:"nobody home.don't leave anything"when got back that night,she found her door broken open and her house ransacked.On the note she had left,she found she following messege added:"thanks!we haven't left anything!"

布朗夫人今天出门前锁好门后在门上贴了一张便条给送奶人,上面写着:"家里没人,不要留下任何东西."当她晚上回来的时候发现家里失窃了,而在早上留下的便条上多了一条信息:"谢谢你,我们没有留下任何东西"

一个中国人到外国，目睹一通交通意外，警察走过来问他，然后他说：
one car come, one car go, two car pengpeng, one car die.