请帮忙批改下托福作文，万分感谢啊

我修改的地方棚李都加括号了
（These days，nowadays会不梁和迟会更好，不知道你想表达橡李什么意思） a （public） (debate about whether(不是weather) a modern apartment building is more adapted for people to live in than a traditional house has been going on） There is no doubt that living in a modern apartment (makes) our live (convenient) and comfortable. However the issues of cost and the environment (have) now arisen (noteworthily).
Modern apartment (buildings are) usually built in the downtown,so on one hand, the cost will be much higher than any other areas of the city.For example, according to a business report of Beijing,since 2007 the cost of a modern apartment building which is built in downtown has been reached 40000 yuan each square meter,and the cost is still increaseing each year.In contrast ,some traditional houses which was built in outskirts are much cheaper than (the modern apartment buildings) , therefore it will be economical for people to purchase a traditional house. On the other hand, people who live in downtown may suffer much more noise and air or water pollution than some one living in (the outskirts) .Due to the negative environment, people (will have more chances to encounter health problems)
On the contrary living in a traditional house can really bring innumerable benefits to people.First and foremost people can learn the colorful culture of the country, (the culture identity), for instance, people can learn the origins and the evolution of the culture from the traditional house.Besides people can broaden their horizon and enlarge their knowledge by living in a traditional house ( and) meanwhile people can also promote their taste.
Further more, (nowadays people) live under (great) chronic pressure, which may lead to insomnia, anxiety, depression and even mental disorder. （改为because，because of 后面只能跟词组不跟句子） (the) traditional houses are usually built in (应该是outskirts吧) where is near lakes and mountains,and the environment is much better than the downtown.（so去掉，用了because就不能用是so，或者不用because只用so，两者只能选一种） it can offer many opportunities for people to have（a） more active lifestyle to relax and （relieve） the pressure. For example,people can do more aerobic exercises such as jogging around the lake or climbing mountains with friends.Therefore living in a traditional house can really help people relive and release the pressure （casued by work or study) .Thanks to the beautiful environment.People will also be healthy and more enjoy their life.
Obviously all the evidence has confirmed that living in a traditional house is more adapted for people than in a modern apartment building.

People will also be healthy and more enjoy their life.这句话我觉得不能讲的这么绝对，will表示将来会发生，但没人能保证住在郊区就会健康，就会enjoy。我觉得可以变一下，比如说人们可以生活在一个健康的，污染较少的环境中。 relive and release the pressure for working or studying.Thanks to the beautiful environment.People will also be healthy and more enjoy their life.

另外问题是Would you prefer。。是不是要你从你的角度出发呢，比如加一些I prefer。。。 然后列原因，你写的很可观，用的都是第三人称，我也不太清楚你的作文具体要求，这个你自己决定吧~~~~
希望对你有所帮助