帮我看看我这篇托福文章写的怎么样？题目是:The best to improve education is to raise teachers✀ salary

我个人对托付的应有水准不是很了解，但我个人认为这篇文章不是很好。原因如下：
Firstly, your thesis and antithesis points are both insufficient and without much insight. You clearly do not think raising teachers' salary is the best way to improve education, but you never support you stand with strong argument. Your firstly used your objective views as a argument, by pointing out that the action of increasing salary may have some adverse effect on teacher's performance. in reality, it only happens sometimes. No matter how good a policy is, it surely has its flaws. Thus, your first argument is weak and superficial.

Second argument is better but you need to give more elaboration so that the marker can understand your thinking more thoroughly. Also, you need to you more examples to support you stand. The better ones are the examples taken from news and magazines, which will be more persuasive and valid. It also shows that you are well read and rich in contextual knowledge.
Thirdly, you need to work on your grammar. I saw some very basic grammatical mistakes like" 'In' a certain degree". This shows that your foundation of English is weak.
I can give you a better frame work for you to do this essay. You can use a structure called " 3SVs and 2 Ovs + rebuttal" . SVs stands for " supportive views", while OVs means" Objective views" . This framework is often used by students who are taking their Cambridge A level exams. You can try it out:-)
I hope my comments are useful to you.
Wish you all the best

有点像小黄（某东方的，俺不是做广告滴，只是说道寄托就会想到在某东方的苦逼时光）后面的复制粘贴板。